It’s your daddy.
I want you to know how hard your mommy and I prayed for you. We asked God for you. We prayed for a family and God has blessed us with both you and your older brother. You are the answer to our prayers, the fourth member of our family. This spot has been reserved for you for a long time. I have loved you from the moment I found out about you, and long before that even. I only hope I can convey that enough through this letter. You have been part of our family for even longer than we have known you.
You have already been with us for 19 weeks. I remember a couple months ago, we heard your heart beating for the first time. What a special moment that was! It seems the time is flying by, and it turns out this is quite a busy week for you! I am reading about how your skin is developing a protective coating this week (this is called vernix, in case you were wondering). That is so cool, but I also heard it’s pretty greasy! You are also working on all five of your senses, and soon you will be able to hear mommy and me sing you lullabies. So many wonderful things are going on, and I am already so proud of you. Your mommy and I cannot wait to meet you!
I am writing because I want to tell you a couple of things that your mommy and I learned today. It’s Monday afternoon and we just got back from seeing the doctor. We had an appointment scheduled for an ultrasound, and we were ready to find out if you are a boy or a girl. We were so excited to pick out a name for you, and we had everything ready to go first thing this morning. We dropped your older brother off at daycare, and he was screaming as we left. What a ham.
We got to the appointment, and everything was going really well. We didn’t want to know if you were a boy or a girl until after the appointment, so the nurse wrote the answer and stuck it in an envelope for us to read a little later on. We got to watch you up on the ultrasound screen; you were rolling around! We saw your fingers, your toes, and even your heart fluttering. The tech showed us one of your arms, with your hand and fingers, and your mommy made sure to ask to see the other one, too!
When the doctor came in, he started showing us some different things about you as well. All of a sudden his speech started to slow, and then he paused, like he was about to give us some bad news. He started a slow lead-in, the kind you might use someday if you ever stay out too late or wreck a car. He told us that there was a slight problem with the development going on in your brain. We listened as he told us about the part of your brain called the corpus callosum. This is the part that separates the left side of your brain from the right side. He pointed to the ultrasound screen and showed us where this part of your brain was supposed to be. He told us that this part of your brain was underdeveloped, or not developed at all. He couldn’t tell exactly because it’s still pretty early, and ultrasounds are not supposed to be diagnostic tools.
Your mommy and I were scared for you, and we had a lot of questions. What does this mean? How often does it happen? Is there a margin for error? Do we need to confirm this somehow? We wanted to know everything we could find out so that we could care for you even better when you get here.
Long story short, there aren’t a lot of answers yet. But that doesn’t mean our love for you will falter, Lemondrop. You are so dear to us, and we love you so much. Nothing that happens will ever change that. Your worth does not come from what you can accomplish or what you will be able to do or not do. Your worth and value come from the fact that you were created in the image and likeness of God, and you are His child!
Luckily, our doctor is wonderful, and did a nice job of explaining those things that we can know at this time. He told us you were a happy-looking baby on the screen, and were moving like a wiggleworm while we were trying to get a look at you! (This is really no surprise, as your older brother did the same thing!) He said he did not notice anything else that we should be concerned about, and that was good news for us. And if something does come up later, we will ask more questions and love you even more!
After that, we did some blood tests to rule out some different things like infections and chromosomal abnormalities. We did these tests because we want to know as much about you as we can so we can be ready to give you everything you need when you come to live with us. We chose a test that did not pose any risk for you and would not hurt you.
Please know that we will always care for and protect you; this is what mommies and daddies are for.
We will love you no matter what. You will be just perfect for us, and we know God made you specially to be our child. The doctor is not concerned about any terrible outcomes, by the way, so neither am I. No matter what happens, you will always be God’s child and He will always care for you even better than mommy and daddy can.
Your mommy and I went out to breakfast after learning about you this morning. As we sat and ate, I was thinking about all the wonderful possibilities for your life. I wondered what kinds of things you will enjoy. I wondered if you will get married someday. I wondered what your friends will be like, and even what you will be like. I wondered what color of hair you will have. I wondered what kind of path you will choose for your life. You’re going to need a daddy to help you make it through, and I will always be there for you, no matter what.
Our love for you does not depend on how your brain works or anything you might accomplish or not accomplish during your life. Our love for you will always be there because you are our child. You are a product of our love, and a reminder that God has a plan for all of us. He loves us so much, and He always wants what is best for us.
In fact, God loves you so much that he had a plan for you even before you were formed in mommy’s tummy. Not only that, God even decided to write about it in His book! If you turn to Jeremiah 1, it says, “Before I formed you in the womb, I knew you.” See, His plan for you is already written; He was thinking about you even before we were! Our job is to cooperate as best we can.
So I’m going to pray for you, and I’m going to ask everyone I know to do the same. I want you to know that God always hears and answers prayers. We don’t always like the answers, but He always gives them. Sometimes the answer is “no”, and we have to be okay with that, too. These are lessons that your mommy and I will teach you as you are growing up. For now, your mommy and I are trusting God and putting you in His hands.
By the way, just wait until you meet your older brother. He’s a good kid, and he will be an outstanding older brother to you. He’s even been practicing his sharing. He’s incredibly hyper, so you’ll have to be quick if you want to keep up with him. If you ask him nicely, I’m sure he would be willing to share a few secrets about how to get mommy wrapped around your finger so that she will give you snacks in the middle of the night. I trust you will get the hang of this whole family thing. Your mommy and I will always be there to love you along the way. No matter what.
This post is a web exclusive from a friend of Human Life International.